LOST---The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: 6 Finale!

In a perfect world, LOST would have ended with a sledgehammer-to-the-skull so thrilling that the government would have to legalize marijuana just to deter people from choosing to bash their skulls with sledgehammers instead. Alas, this is not a perfect world, and LOST did not have a sledgehammer ending. Nevertheless, a relatively feasible amount of closure was reached…with an equally proportional amount of plot holes. 

The Good: 
1. Frank Lepidus is man I would sincerely share a joint with at a party one day. His survival skills and instincts border on the superheroic. 

2. One million internet dollars for all those who caught the “Christian Shephard” joke before the finale. 

3. As cheesy and corny as it is, the church ending is nice. It was a celebration with those characters whose contributions to the show were major, and while it leaves a rather unsavory taste in the mouths of those who were expecting more, a simple ending only proves that the most important part of any story is the journey, not the result. 

4. Ding-dong, the Smoke monster’s dead! 

The Bad: 
1. Oh, the gaping plot holes and unanswered questions. First up: why the fuck would Ben want the island to himself? He needs to preside over a society. He’s pretty useless if he doesn’t. 

2. The very ending itself is a frock stitched with mystery as to what the fuck the sideways universe is supposed to be. I always thought it was just a history of what would have happened if the plane hadn’t crashed. I didn’t think it needed to be anything special to the main storyline. In that way, the ending really disappoints. 

3. After all of Jack’s hardship and intense fighting, Kate is the one that pretty much kills Smokey? I mean, 4,815,162,342 points for teamwork, but that was supposed to be Jack’s kill---in total. Instead, he just got to kick him over a ledge. Why does Kate always have to ruin everyone else's moment? Boo! 

4. "This little light of mine/ I'm gonna plug-it-with-a-rock/This little light of mine/I'm gonna plug-it-with-a-rock/This little light of mine/It will always shine/Go ahead/Take-the-rock-out/But you'll dieeeeeee (unlessyou'reDesmond)." Seriously, the LOST writers have great ideas, but what was the point of the light other than to be a convenient plot device? If the island is as important as Jacob says it is(you know, keeping all the bad stuff in), then why build a way to destroy it? 

The Ugly: 
1. I haven’t seen the alternative endings to the show yet, but I’m hoping they all end the same way and just take different avenues to get there. I say that because if I find out that they are three completely different endings, I’m going to rant and be very mad again; after all, the writers have been telling us for years now that they already knew how it was going to end from the start. 

Answers: 
1. The island exists to keep bad spirits away. All it needs now is a night light; then it could---OOOOOOOOOOH! .....Check. 

“LOST: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Series Wrap-up” coming soon…(brought to you by the Dharma Union of Slug-Hunting Tiny Cats) 

Ciao.